When does the magical transition occur from being a parent of a child, to being an advisor, rather than overlord?
The question is fair one to ask. Is it the moment that they hit the high school period, or is it pushed back to the final senior year, where choices are considered for college, university, or life adventures considered? Or is it at an earlier time, during the time where puberty has begun, yet not completed its full course?
I have no idea, but suspect that it is all of the above, dependent on the nature of the child themselves. Yesterday afternoon, in the waning light of a Friday, we bashed through the topic. We talked about what is brought from both parties to the table, the inner experiences that cloud and skew the participants in finding a common language to speak in. The relation and relative position of each is unfixed, constantly changing in its frame of reference to the other.
The difference though is that we were talking about work, sculptural and otherwise, not children.
Now I know, yes, there is a huge gulf between a static piece of work, and a living entity. One is composed of thoughts, flesh, and a will to experience and push out into the world on its own. The other, being composed of material of organic or structural materials, sits quietly, with no need to say or do anything other than to be seen, or not, to be silent and still. Neither wishes to be the other, nor could they ever truly be due to the unique properties that each is composed of. But, is there really much in the difference between the two, when you are both the creator of a life as well as ongoing works that are no less important?
Stay with me here on this for a minute or two. Just as there is a moment to release and change the relationship with ones child as they become an adult, there is the moment as an artist when you step back and leave the work to ‘be’. Where the complication arises is when neither the child nor the work finds a state within the parent, where it is allowed to just exist, as itself. The endless tweaking, subtle changes in position, to light or not to light, suspension or pedestal? Just as with art work, so can be said about oversight of a child, tutoring or not, sleep overs or staying in, which friend is proper or not, public or private?
Yes, I agree, they are different, apples and oranges you may say. And I would counter, but they are both fruit. They are both vital and alive, filled with seeds of thought and succession from the body and hand of the creator. And as the creator, with confidence, there must be some point where it is recognized when it is best to just allow ones life and work to just ‘be’, to just exist within its own voice, choice and decision, no matter what the outcome, no matter what the result.